What You Really Didn't Need to Know
by Asterisk Truly
Summary: Mr. Daniel Radcloff finds a book called What you really didn't need to know about the malfoys and he opened it, what an idoit.


_A/N) Ok this story is a major parody! ( this story is a collaboration with Nike Goddess of Victory) hope you like it! (and yes i am taking a small break from The Return of Charlotte Bumbery, because i just want to. --smiles--)_

_REMEMBER TO REVIEW EVEN IF YOU DONT LIKE IT AND OFFER ADVICE!_

_Disclaimer: we own almost absolutely nothing, The setting and most of the characters belong to JKR,grr arg the concept of a parody belongs to I do not know who and only about 2 characters belong to us. Yeah, that's kind of sad isn't it…(please note that some names that you may think are spelled wrong are spelled that way on purpose... )_

OK NOW FOR THE STORY!

**WHAT YOU REALLY DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE MALFOY'S**

… uhh…..yeah…. Here it goes….

From the mixed up files- no wait wrong story.

One day Mr. Daniel Radcloff was walking into his studio when he saw a book, yes it was a book, only about 5 pages long. It was entitled,_ What You Really Didn't Need To Know About the Malfoy's_. It was a rather long title and it took up most of the mauve cover. Hmm.. I wonder what this book could be about, Mr. Radcloff thought. So he opened the book. _What an idiot._

The fist page had been written on beige parchment that looked older than dirt. On the ancient paper was written the following in deep gray ink...

_There are many different kinds of Malfoy's. They almost always one same characteristic in common; they are absolutely and positively , _VAIN_. Take for instance Mr. Lucius "FAJA" Malfoy. He is almost as cruel and ugly as he is vain. The key word to remember is almost. _

_There are also Lucius' 3 sons; first came Mr. Faco "FAKE-O" Malfoy , he is a, how shall I put this, well he is a drag queen… yeah. There is also Mr. Waco "WACK-O" Malfoy who is extremely odd. The best known of the Malfoy's is definitely Mr. Draco "DRACO" Malfoy. _

_So as you can see there are many kinds of Malfoy's. Please feel free to take this included quiz to figure out which one YOU are!_

Mr. Daniel Radcloff was hooked and took a writing utensil out of his pocket and continued reading.

_**Question 1:**_

You see a guy walking down the street, is he checking

you out?

_a) **No we're both straight men, and I have my wife**_

**_right next to me, geeze! But I am Hip Yo!_**

_b) **he wouldn't dare because my husband is there and we**_

_**are snogging!**_

_c)** eww man. I have a GF!**_

_d) **I hope so.**_

_e) **he might be, but I think I'm a little to young for**_

_**him!**_

_**Question 2:**_

How much make up do you wear?

_a) **my wife puts moisturizer on my skin and adds a hint of blush to my cheeks to add a dramatizing effect.**_

_b) **a lot.**_

_c) **I go for hair gel instead**_

_d) **too much for who I am!**_

_e) **lip gloss and some eyeliner**_

_**Question 3:**_

What kind of people do you go for?

_a) **I have my wife. We have 3 kids together. Enough said.**_

_b) **I love my husband to death! I joined the Dark Lord just for him!**_

_c ) **My GF Pansy is well, good enough.**_

_d) **Just my flavor of the week, you know?**_

_e) **MYSELF!**_

Mr. Daniel Radcloff quickly filled in his answer bubbles with a #2 pencil. He muttered, "Hmm… E… no...maybe A… no E. A- no B, no D no… E, wait duh! C, what was I thinking? #3, hmm…. C, nope I don't like someone named Pansy… can't be A or B, so D or E, I guess e…."

_**Question 4:**_

Are you Vain?

_a) **I am quite insulted that someone would say that I am.**_

_b) **I probably am, but I do not care!**_

_c) **Depends.**_

_d) **Yes, and I am proud of it!**_

_e) **I dunno, does that mean I like the rain? If that's what it means, then yes!**_

Mr. Daniel Redcloff filled in an 'A' for that question.

_**Question 5:**_

Ask the next person who walks by if they think you're vain.

_a) **They dare not answer, they fear me.**_

_b) **They say, a simple, "Yes"**_

_c) **They say, "You do spend an awful long time on your hair mate." Stupid people….**_

_d) **I'm too busy snogging with them to ask them.**_

_e) **They say, "I dunno, does that mean you like the rain? If that's what it means, then yes!"**_

Unfortunately for Mr. Daniel Radcloff, Mr. Robert Glint and Ms. Emma Walson happened to be the one's that passed by, so he asked, "Do you think I'm vain?"

"Well," Mr. Robert Glint started, "You do spend an awful long time on your hair mate."

Ms. Emma Walson just nodded, to which Mr. Daniel Radcloff just sighed and filled in the bubble for c.

_**Question 6:**_

When snow melts what does it become?

_a) **This is a stupid question, I refuse to answer it!**_

_b) **um… I do believe it becomes spring.**_

_c) **WATER, you half witt!**_

_d) **Well, it becomes my rouge, thank you very much.**_

_e) **Uhh… cheese?**_

Mr. Daniel Radcloff, quickly filled in the C bubble, then turned to the next page.

_YOUR RESULTS:_

_MOSTLY A's:_

_You are the Patriarch, Mr. Luscious 'FAJA' Malfoy…._

Mr. Daniel Radcloff skimmed that part, looking for his results, first he found:

_MOSTLY B's:_

_You are the Matriarch, Mrs. Narcissi 'SISSY' Malfoy…._

_MOSTLY C's:_

_You are the family's middle son, Mr. Draco 'DRACO' Malfoy. You are a weasel, no wait, a white bouncing ferret, you are quite the git, many people hope you'd just die…. _

Mr. Daniel Radcloff took his time reading this, frankly insulted, but he decided to look at the last two, hoping they were worse than his.

_MOSTLY D's:_

_You are the family's oldest son, Mr. Faco 'FAKE-O' Malfoy. You are quite the man-slut and drag queen, have fun with that…._

_MOSTLY E's:_

_You are the family's youngest son, Mr. Waco 'WACKO' Malfoy. You are more stupid than you are vain and a drag queen, that isn't the accomplishment you brag about is it?_

_NO MAJORITY OR A MIX:_

_You probably skipped a question, but even if you didn't you must be an idiot for thinking you have NO majority, because there are 6 questions all with five answers! Jeeze, you're stupider than Waco._

_A mix on the other hand should look at the two they are a mix of, then mix them together, DUH!_

_**Now, you may be asking youself, where is the information you DIDN'T need to know? **_

_**Well, that's our next section, which is cleverly labeled;**_

**TMI (or Too Much Information)**

_Well, some things to note about the Malfoys are;_

_Even though it seems like a happy marriage between SISSY and FAJA, it really isn't considering Luscious is a major player, and both of them have been unfaithful more than once, but that does not stop them from doing it twice a day, either with each other or someone else._

_FAKE-O Malfoy is also a player, but since he's a drag queen, you can guess what types of people he attracts, and well he's never been faithful to his significant other, yet people keep flocking to him._

_DRACO Malfoy also has never been mutually exclusive, he is quite the palyer, loving them then leaving them. _

_WACKO Malfoy is too young to be involved with someone, and plus he's probably too stupid to do something with someone even if he had the chance._

Just then, Mr. Daniel Radcloff was interrupted by his friend, Mr. Tim Feltin, who grabbed the book, looked at the cover and said, "You're reading **this** rubbish?" and threw it into the fire.

Which caused Mr. Daniel Radcloff to break down in sobs, screaming, "NO! I WAN JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART!"

Mr. Tim Feltin shook his head, then lifted his friend up and said, "Come on mate, we have to film now," and Mr. Daniel Radcloff stood up, shook out his hair, then went to film, "Larry Fotter and the Order of the Lenix."

_**FIN**_

_A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed it, and please review!_


End file.
